(Source: exulis, via thingssheloves)
You know how you always say, “this time is the last time,” but there is always that resounding doubt in the back of your mind… The whisper, that caresses your depression, promising that the future will not hold any resemblance to the past. The whisper that promises he can and he will change.
But why does he have to change?
Because you love him?
Because he made a number of (now) empty promises?
It was callow of you to believe he would change for you…
And really the only one to blame is yourself. It’s all your fault. You encompassed him in your expectations. He’s not soft enough to mold into your perfect vision of a man. He’s not warm enough to love you with the whole of his heart. He isn’t tender enough to explain how much he cares for you. He doesn’t realize just how much his words can hurt you…
And you know how you always say, “how could he…”?
No, but the main question is how could you? How could you allow yourself to stand idly by while he hurt you? And at the bitter end of it all how could you not see it from the beginning? He is not you. You care too much for him and too little for yourself. He would never put your needs and desires before his own. And that’s why this time is different from the last or the many times before that…
On a side note: that’s how I feel tonight. I’m about to bring a baby into this world so I definitely need to be strong for us.
… And the worse part is you will never understand… And you will never support me over your backstabbing brothers .
